My kiddo made up a complex mansion in his mind and was giving my wife and I a tour. I jokingly said, “there’s a giant spider in the back of the parking lot… roll for initiative.” Without skipping a beat, he said, “you know I can ban people right?”
Things I never thought I would have to Google: “Fascism, authoritarianism, and totalitarianism for kids.”
You can never predict where the conversation with the 7-year-old will go.
The kid: “I’m daring. I’m not afraid of anything. Except cheese strings.”
My 7-year-old recently watched the first Iron Man movie and part of the 2nd. Afterwards, he was inspired to re-create the film. He does this. We’ve done Jurassic Park, Godzilla, and Jumanji. Iron Man is the just the latest.
This whole process has yielded a few discoveries.
First, I’m impressed that he can tell that Iron Man 2 is not a great sequel. I mostly expect when he’s watching this stuff that he’s watching for the action scenes, but about 30 minutes in, he was not impressed and wanted to turn it off. So he’s picking up on more than I’d expect (or it’s a much worse movie than I remember).…
Continue Reading…When the AI concatenates all the random Amazon store names together…
My 7-year-old is trying to convince us that the only way it’s fair for him to take a COVID test is if his two non-symptomatic parents also have to take a COVID test.
The 7-year-old apropos of nothing: “Who would win in a battle? Moses or Jesus?”
Let the Passover and Easter celebrations begin!
“Sorry kiddo, but over the summer I have to work.“
“That’s ok, we can go on vacation and you can go boop boop boop on your computer while we’re there.”
My 7-year-old just fired me from the building project I was working on in our shared Minecraft world. “I suggest you work… on other things. I’ll make it properly and we’ll find some other things for you to do.” #PerformanceReview
My kiddo is having some trouble learning how to read. The Meg and Greg books have helped enormously. They focus on phonics, not boring stories, and split reading. Highly recommend for kids 5-8.
My 7-year-old does not understand the “Hello Computer” joke from A Voyage Home. You can just talk to computers now… it’s no longer funny. (Unrelated: I’m old.)
Before I had a kiddo, if someone had told me that one day my 7-year-old would ask for a mocap suit and a gorilla costume, I would not have believed them. (He’s making a homemade King Kong movie.)
My kiddo is convinced that because his school buys Dell computers, “they are the best computers”. It’s the first time I feel I’ve seriously failed as a parent.
Of course, my kiddo’s school is going remote again (CUPE strike). I’m so ready for a year where we don’t have to do this to him. He doesn’t learn as well through a screen (except when watching Minecraft videos on YouTube).
Any politician who believes that daylight saving time is a good idea is welcome to come live with my 7-year-old this week. He woke up at 4am.
Someone needs to make a box that can bleep selected language so that I can show my kiddo all these movies he’s not old enough to see yet.
I asked my kiddo what he wants to do this weekend and he says he wants to make a movie and get a Netflix deal. Do I know anyone at Netflix that can hook a 6-year-old up?
My six-year-old, in disgust: “Ugh, like, why don’t we have flying cars yet. I thought last year for sure we’d have flying cars.”
Me: “Who do you think would win, a black bear or a human?”
6-year-old: “Well… the human could just build a house in the black bear’s habitat and it’ll die off.”
Savage. 🐻
I showed my 6-year-old Jurassic Park. He seemed mostly bored by it. Crushed. 🦖
Me: “The Lincoln Cathedral is really, really old. It was made in…”
5-year-old: “1997?”
Me: “1072…”
Tonight’s pizzas. Plain cheese for the kiddo. Plant-based sausage, garlic & pepper for the adults. I also tried for garlic knots but many of them were set aflame. Photos next time when they’re not mostly made from carbon.
I think I’ve been letting my 5-year-old watch too much YouTube. Today he told me he was “Sponsored by Mattel™”. He’s also started speaking to his YouTube audience that only he can see…
My five-year-old: “I learned from YouTube that all the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park are girls, and so now I don’t even have to learn that from school!” 🦖
Today’s nugget of knowledge from my 5-year-old: “Holes in a car, not so bad. Holes in a boat, VERY bad.”